Mini-Margarita Cheesecakey Bites

Yesterday was haircut day. In this neighborhood, the genius who does the work on The Bat's and my challenging mops gets not only cash and hugs, but something a little decadent from the kitchen. Sometimes it's chocolate, sometimes it's liquor...this time, it's tequila (cue the Peewee Herman dance, and tell 'em Large Marge sent you).

Not only is it tequila, it's cheesecakes. Bite-sized. No-bake. So none of the liquor bakes out. And you can easily lose track of how much you've had.

That's not a bug, it's a feature.

Another feature is, it's really a quick-and-easy process. Once I assembled the ingredients, and the cream cheese was allowed to soften to room temperature, the whole thing took only 20 minutes for me to prepare. It makes at least 7 dozen (if you have that many good, bowl-shaped tortilla scoops. Otherwise, it makes as many as you can get, plus a small bowl full of tasty, tangy dip).

There's another plus to this: the alcohol is totally optional (unless it's going to the salon)!

It's great for parties, either way, so if you have a Spring Break event, or you're thinking all the way ahead to Cinco de Mayo or graduation day, or somebody's wedding, you can make a gazillion of these in short order, either teetotalling or liquored up, and people will go bonkers.

How to drink your Margaritas without looking like you're drinking…

Mini-Margarita Cheesecakey Bites

Ingredients:

1 (10 ounce) bag tortilla "scoops" bowl-shaped chips

1 (8 ounce) packet cream cheese
1 (14 ounce) can sweetened condensed milk
1/4 cup tequila (optional)
1/8 cup orange liqueur (optional)
1 (6 ounce) can* frozen limeade concentrate - DO NOT THAW!

Directions: 

Make sure you have room in your refrigerator.  

Set up trays of tortilla chip bowls: (I used three 12-inch pizza pans with low rims to hold them in place as I worked). Select at least 80 chips from bag, based on their shape - good, unbroken, with high sides and slightly flattened bottoms so they will hold the filling and still stand alone on a plate.

In the bowl of a stand mixer, beat cream cheese until it is fluffy. Add in condensed milk, beat until smooth, then mix in tequila, orange liqueur, and frozen limeade concentrate. Mix well.

Using a 2-teaspoon-sized cookie scoop like this one, or a piping bag with no special tip, fill each tortilla scoop with the batter. When each tray is completed, cover lightly with plastic and put it in the refrigerator. Allow to chill at least two hours, until mostly firm (they do not freeze very well, I'm sorry to say).

Serve topped with whipped cream. You may choose to go the lazy way & get pre-fab stuff, like the canned whipped cream, or the frozen non-dairy whipped topping, or you can, a few minutes before you're ready to serve, make some lime-whipped cream:

Special whipped cream topping:

1 pint whipping cream

2 teaspoons lime juice

1 Tablespoon ultrafine granulated sugar*

In a chilled bowl, beat whipping cream and lime juice on high until soft peaks begin to form. Sprinkle sugar into cream, continuing to beat until light and fluffy and stiff peaks begin to form - but be careful! You want to stop before it turns to butter! 

Allow your guests to apply their whipped cream on their own – from the can or with a teaspoon – then just sit back and enjoy the accolades.

*I ended up buying a 12-ounce can of limeade concentrate (that's all they had at Aldi), used half the can in the cheesecake filling, then allowed the remaining concentrate to thaw, substituted 2 Tablespoons of that for the lime juice and sugar, and made a quart of limeade, as well, to carry with me as a drink mixer for the afternoon/evening crowd.

Curd Your Enthusiasm: Citrus Meringues Filled with Citrus Curd

Since I've joined the gluten-free club recently, I've had a divvil of a time trying to find recipes for things which won't cost an arm and a leg to prepare (have you seen the price of gf all-purpose flour?), especially if I want to share with friends, and not put out what people will assume are poison because I refuse to  sample my own… well, anyway. 

I've also discovered that something I had always assumed had been on my list of severe allergens could be prepared sans the grape (I have had nasty asthma attacks from just a bite of meringue with cream of tartar in it. I usually have to take extra allergy meds before eating out, as a result).

Naturally, I was nearly ecstatic when I learned that the real reason one puts cream of tartar into a meringue is to break down the coil in the egg white protein, so that it will whip up better, and so that it will hold its whippy form once it's set to baking, and that other acids may be used in its stead. Indeed, one source recommended I might use Fruit Fresh, for its ascorbic acid and minimal flavor impact.

But I rather like a little citrus. 

Actually, I can eat lemons the way other people eat tangerines, peeled, sectioned, and then popped into my mouth like candy. But I know most people can't handle that sort of thing, so I try not to do it to them, in anything I prepare.

I try, anyway. 

I went a little agley with this particular batch… I forgot how very tart Dickinson's lime curd is, and I used in in plentiful amounts. I recommend, for others, a little greater discretion.

Meanwhile, the meringue is light, delicate, a little crispy…dangerous!

Citrus Meringues Filled with Citrus Curd

Ingredients:

2 large egg whites
1/8 teaspoon salt
2/3 cup extra fine sugar
zest of one medium lemon or lime (about 1 teaspoon), finely grated
1 teaspoon vanilla extract

1/3 cup of your preferred lemon or lime curd*

Directions:

Preheat oven to 400º F.

Line a cookie sheet with parchment. Set aside.

In a clean, chilled, small bowl, combine salt and egg whites. Whip until foamy, then continue to beat  on high speed, gradually adding sugar, until stiff peaks form (at least 8 minutes, often more than 10 minutes). Gently fold in vanilla and citrus zest.

Spoon about 1 teaspoon of meringue onto parchment on cookie sheet. With spoon, make a slight indentation in the dollop (or, if you wish, use a frosting bag to squeeze out a little bowl-shaped base.

Gently set about a half-teaspoonful (or less, depending upon the strength of flavor) of curd in the center. Top with enough meringue to completely cover & seal in the citrus curd, then leave a little swirl on top, if you like.

Continue to repeat this until all the meringue is used.

When you have all the cookies assembled, place in middle of that preheated oven, close oven door, and turn off the heat.

Allow to stay in oven at least two hours (overnight is just dandy. Just don't forget you have them in there, and try to bake a breakfast the next morning without having removed them, first).

Makes about 15.

*You can do a batch of pie filling, instead of curd, but if you do this, you'l want it to be slightly thicker than the one the Bat taught me for Pop's birthday pie, here. One can use a variation on it, adding extra starch to the recipe in its beginnings, until it thickens dramatically.

One down side to overstuffing these meringues is, the lime curd settles downward a little too much, causing it to occasionally compromise the integrity of the cookie in this manner–>>>

The tragedy here is, you can't very well pack these up and give them away as your best, prettiest treatsies. You'll have to eat them all on your own (the horror!). The other down side is, the filling can easily overpower the meringue's taste, so you can have a whole lot of curd flavor in a little comparatively bland pouch.  Check first to see how strongly tart your curd is, and be discreet in your usage. Unless you're like me, and you love to peel the enamel off your teeth. Then, go wild! 

Gitchi gitchi ya ya Mixed Citrus and Honey Marmalade

There was this sale, you see…

One of the local stores had lemons, limes, and other citrus fruits marked at a price I could by no means resist. And, yet, there is no way on God's green earth that I could eat a baker's dozen of lemons, three pounds of key limes, three pounds of Clementines, or two pounds of standard limes.

At least, not as they were.

So I started experimenting with putting them by. Some of the processes will take a month or more to establish whether or not they were successful (I'm pickling some key limes, for the fun of it, with a little sliced chili pepper and a mess of salt, and tomorrow I start in on another option for limes). But today, I made marmalade.

Yes, marmalade.

Not your typical marmalade, either.  I used some wild honey and mixed my fruits until I had an entertaining blend of flavors and colors. I suppose, if you wanted to, you could do this with one single variety of citrus fruit (maybe Meyer lemons). But I went with what I had and what I had a craving for.

And it wasn't until I was completely finished with the process of canning the stuff and sitting down to supper that the LaBelle song bubbled up from deeeeep inside me.




Still, I have to say, Patti LaBelle notwithstanding, the day was a success.


I made jellied citrus. So. There.

It may even become Christmas prezzies, if I'm in a really good mood, come winter.

But the recipe went something like this:



Mixed Citrus and Honey Marmalade

Ingredients:

8 cups citrus fruits (my blend was 6 cups thin-skinned lemons, 1 cup tangerines, 1 cup key limes). This amounts to, roughly, 14 lemons, 4 "cuties" tangerines, and 10 key limes, but that will vary according to the size of your fruits. You're likely to need a little more than 3 lbs of whatever fruit you choose.
2 cups strong honey something like wild honey or sorghum honey.  I went wild.
1 1/2 cups water
4 cups sugar
2 packets liquid pectin (do not use powder!!!!!)

jelly jars to contain approximately 20 cups

Directions:

Carefully wash fruit (with a vegetable wash, not soap. If you don't have veggie wash, rinse carefully, allow to soak for a few hours or overnight, drain away water, rinse, and allow them to soak as you prepare everything else.

Give your jars a hot bath and soak the flat lids in simmering water until you need them. I have a good dishwasher with hot-bath setting, so I prepped the jars in that, and put the lids in a small saucepan, separated, covered with simmering water.

Trim away stem ends and slice lemons* into small sections, approximately 1 centimeter wide and very thin (but not paper-thin). I found the easiest way to do this was to cut the lemon in half lengthwise (cutting through from blossom to stem end), then cut each half into 4 equal lengthwise wedges, and finally slice crosswise into small, thin bits. You will want a very sharp knife to do this well.

When all your lemons have been cut, combine them with honey, sugar, and water in a large (at least 5 quart), nonreactive saucepan. Stir well, bring to boil, immediately reduce heat and simmer very low for 30 minutes (overheating amplifies the bitterness of the skins).

Prepare work surface for hawtness of a traditional kind while this is simmering. If you are a little sloppy, the way I am, put out a large jelly roll pan (cookie sheet with walls) on a flat surface near the stove. Have ready your ladle, funnel, lid rings, and tongs (for fishing out lid flats from hot bath and for fishing jars out of hot bath, if necessary).

Add in liquid pectin, bring to low boil for 5 minutes, remove from heat immediately. Working quickly, ladle into jars, putting lids & rings on each one as you go, and turning upside-down to help them seal. When they are sufficiently cooled, turn them right-side-up and wash any stickiness away before labeling them. (You will know they are sealed if you press the center of the lid and it doesn't "pop" or otherwise make a noise.)

Enjoy a jar or two at a later date, or, if you must, share with loved ones, but when I make jellies, I always make sure one jar "accidentally" fails to seal, so I can have it for dessert that evening. This can be accomplished by re-using a flat lid, or by using a jar & lid from some store-bought preserved food (I don't recommend using one which used to hold peppers, though, unless you really want that added flavor in your first bite of this marmalade).


*For the sake of brevity, I am calling all citrus "lemons" at this point. If you're using others, go ahead and pretend I've included the rest of them in the description.

My Harry Nilsson Rum Cake

I have discovered a good use for spirits, besides capping off my evening with a sip of something pleasantly smoky.

I bought some rum for a specific recipe last fall, and, for the life of me, I can't recall what the heck that recipe was. And, seeing as how I'm a Scotch kind of girl, having a full bottle of rum did not turn me into a pirate. It sat on the shelf, mocking me.

Worse, I had a nearly full container of Coco Real sitting on the shelf, also mocking me because I had allowed it to sit until its sell-by date was upon us both.

And then, there was the lime. And the grated coconut.



And the cake mix.

And my best friend packing up to move two states away.  I had a belly ache.

So, I followed Harry's doctor's advice, and put the lime in the coconut.

And then, there was rum.

You can see where this went:


My Harry Nilsson Rum Cake

Ingredients:

Rum concoction:

2 Tablespoons very finely grated lime zest
2/3 cup lime juice (if you can get key lime, it's the best)
1 cup coconut creme, thoroughly mixed
2/3 cup light rum


cake:
One plain cake mix, your choice of yellow or white (I used white)
eggs (see what your mix requires)
oil (see what your mix requires)
water (see mix instructions and note, below)*
1 cup rum concoction, plus more for brushing on during and after baking

frosting:
2 8-oz bricks cream cheese, softened to room temp
1/3 cup rum concoction
2 cups (or more) confectioner's sugar
1 cup sweetened, flaked coconut

Directions:

Grease pans thoroughly (I recommend two 9" pans, for maximum effect, but use what you have), line bottoms with parchment, if you have it, and grease top of parchment.  If you don't have parchment, use a little bit of the cake mix to "dust" the pans.

In a drink shaker or a quart jar, combine lime juice, lime zest, coconut creme, and rum. Shake well. (If you want to do so, you can toss it in a blender, but that's more cleanup than I like to do.)

Preheat oven to the temperature recommended on your cake mix box (usually 350º F).  In a medium mixing bowl, combine 1cup of the above rum concoction, cake mix, eggs, oil, and water. Mix, pour into pans, and bake according to package instructions.

About 10 minutes before cake is done, brush top of cake with rum concoction, finish baking.

As soon as you take the cake out of the oven, brush top again with rum concoction.

Allow to cool, remove from pans, brush again with rum concoction, all sides.

When cake is completely cool, in a small mixer bowl, combine cream cheese, 1/3 cup rum concoction**, and 1 cup confectioner's (powdered) sugar, using mixer at medium speed. Continue to add sugar until thickened enough to hold its shape in soft peaks.  Stir in flaked coconut.  Slather on cake like there's no tomorrow. If you so desire, add more flaked coconut on top.


I fixed this cake on another occasion, replacing, with the rum mix, all the water the white cake mix called for, and then baking it in a jelly roll pan. It comes out a little denser than the usual cake – sort of halfway between standard fluffy white cake and pound cake.  Once cooled, it was then easy to cut in half, layer with frosting (this also has some green frosting color added), & stack before finishing the frosting as you see here. 

Chill (both you and the cake) about an hour. Serve cool, perhaps even topping with some dried pineapple decorating the top (but then, it's heading toward becoming a Pina Colada cake, and that's a whole nother song).



*Your mix may call for more or less than 1 cup water. The rum concoction should replace no more than 1 cup of the liquid required, so add water according to the needs of the mix.

**You are likely to have some rum concoction left over. Do not let it go to waste. Pour it over ice and sip it through a straw, while watching Beach Blanket Bingo, or some other sandy, bikini-laden and teen-star-studded delight.