Loaded Baked-Mock-Potato Salad

 

Perfect for picnics – low in carbs, too!

Nearly every picnic around has someone bringing a great heaping bowl of potato salad. In my circle, the one whose taters are most popular has recently been put on a severely carb-restricted plan, making that just a little awkward.

Naturally, I wanted to come up with an alternative that we can both enjoy when everybody else feasts upon those spuds. And, to my surprise, I learned that cauliflower can be a very nice substitute.

The surprise came because, for years, the cooked cauliflower I'd been subjected to was…well… sort of skunky and cabbage-y. But with the judicious use of a hot oven, some cooking oil, and a little salt, the veggie sweetens up in a way that stir-frying and steaming won't.

As for this salad, it can be served hot or cold, so adapts to suit your mood or menu. Either way, I recommend making it in advance, and letting it sit in the refrigerator for several hours (overnight is ideal), so the flavors meld. It also doesn't require much in the way of clean-up… all you'll need is a baking sheet, some non-stick parchment, and a preferred method for spreading oil on the surface of the veggies for early preparation work, and then a large mixing and/or serving bowl, plus measuring cups/spoons, and a spatula or spoon to mix it all up.

Loaded Baked-Mock-Potato Salad

Ingredients:

1 large head of cauliflower, cut & broken up into bite-size pieces
About 3 Tablespoons of your favorite cooking oil* (just enough to coat the cauliflower bits)
Salt to taste (I use about 1/2 teaspoon)

1/3 cup sour cream
1/3 cup good mayonnaise (I use Duke's)
1/3 cup coarsely-shredded or small-cubed medium cheddar cheese
1/4 cup finely chopped scallions
1/4 cup diced celery
about 3 Tablespoons diced bread-and-butter pickles
1/3 cup crisp-cooked bacon bits, divided
chopped chives or more scallion greens for garnish (optional)

Directions:

Preheat oven to 400º F.

Cover large baking sheet with non-stick parchment (or, if you don't have parchment, lightly grease your baking sheet).

Clean and cut/pull apart cauliflower, putting the florets into a large mixing bowl or gallon zipper bag.
 

Pour cooking oil over the florets, stir/shake until all the pieces are coated, and then spread the pieces over the parchment-covered baking sheet. Sprinkle generously with salt, and bake for about 20 – 25 minutes, turning at least once for even cooking. The aim is to get them golden-brown and their edges slightly crisped.

Remove from oven, allow to cool enough to work with (I then pop it into the refrigerator for an hour or two. The choice is yours, though).

In large mixing bowl, combine sour cream, mayonnaise, cheese, scallions, celery, and diced pickle. Stir thoroughly.

Add 1/4 cup bacon bits, roasted cauliflower, and dressing mix. Stir until dressing evenly covers all the cauliflower pieces. 

Almost forgot the bacon.

Store covered in refrigerator for several hours to overnight. 

Fancy-shmancy containers like mine
need to be carefully cleaned before use,
though.

May be heated in oven or microwave, if your preference is for warm salad.

Sprinkle remaining bacon on top of salad immediately before serving, for garnish and extra crunch. Chopped fresh chives or scallion greens may also be added before serving, for garnish and flavor. (I skipped them during the photo sessions, because I was making this for family, and The Bat is not a fan of either flavor.)

*I leave the choice up to you. Others like working with avocado oil, or even melted ghee. I'm kind of a weirdo. I like the flavor and finish of corn oil.

Cauliflower and the Slaw of Intended Consequences

Some years ago, I was introduced to this side dish at an auction house's concession stand, to go alongside their Untidy Josephs 😉. The original chef grated the cauliflower by hand to a fine "rice" (in this day and age, I suppose you can even find a fresh, bagged version in the same section as the shopped cabbage slaw mix), but I prefer to use the Kitchen Aid slicer, for a prettier, more varied texture.

Any way you work it, though, it's a fairly simple and adaptive slaw.

Simple, Zesty Cauliflower Slaw

Ingredients:
4 cups cauliflower, grated or shredded
1/2 cup mayonnaise
1/4 teaspoon Tabasco sauce (or to taste)
Hot paprika for garnish

Directions:
In a small bowl, stir together mayonnaise and hot sauce.
Stir into cauliflower, mix thoroughly.
Garnish with a sprinkle of paprika.
Serve chilled.

Makes 6-8 servings

This slaw suits nicely any cookout meals, in case you need ideas for the hot summer weekends. Bonus: it's low-carb, low-guilt. 

Enjoy!

The Slaw Lane

Just about everybody has a version of slaw handed down from Grandma or stolen from a favorite eatery. It's an unwritten (s)law. 

Personally, I like working variations on a theme. There are the standards (simple shredded cabbage and dressing) and the fancified (mixed cabbages, finely grated fruits, nuts, wine dressings, and airs to put on), and everything in between.

Today, I opted for the "trendy" member of the cabbage family. Cauliflower. It's not because the fashion this year is all things cauliflower. We've been eating the stuff for years. 

It's because...well, just because. I like it. It's tasty, the salad is simple, and that's all.

You can buy cauliflower "rice" -- the pre-grated stuff --  if you're lazy. You can grate it by hand, if you must. Personally, I like putting a fine slicer blade into the Kitchen-Aid attachment (any food processor's fine slicer will do), so as to make pretty bites. 

And, once you have the shredded vegetable matter, the rest is simple.

Zesty Cauliflower Slaw

Ingredients:

1 small head cauliflower, sliced or grated (about 4-5 cups sliced, 3 cups "rice" style)

2/3 cup mayonnaise (I like Hellmann's/Best with Olive Oil, or – even better – homemade)

1 tablespoon rice vinegar

2-8 drops Tabasco sauce, to taste

Directions:

In a small bowl, combine mayonnaise, vinegar, and hot sauce to make dressing (you will want to use slightly less hot sauce than you think you'll need, because the cauliflower does amplify the heat of the sauce). Stir until completely mixed. 

In a medium bowl, stir the dresing into the cauliflower until evenly distributed. If you need to extend the dressing, sprinkle vinegar lightly and stir until every bit of the cauliflower is coated. 

Cover. Refrigerate at least 1 hour before serving.

It's that simple.

 

 

Banananana… You won't know when to stop with this nut bread

Over the course of time, most of my old cravings for forbidden (trigger-laden) foods have disappeared. For example, I no longer pine for strawberries every time The Bat brings home a quart of fresh ones for herself and Pop. Grapes come in and go out without my feeling the desire to pope one in my mouth and stop breathing… but breads are a much harder habit to break. 

Worse still, I have desperately missed dessert-y quick breads, like the classic banana-nut loaf which usually happened at least once a month when I was younger – after my brugly other stopped inhaling the fruits, and the occasional banana was allowed to go a little overripe. During those years, The Bat would take out the extra-long loaf pan (the 5x16 incher) and load it up with batter, filling the house with that sweet, heady aroma. If we were lucky, there would also be a brick of cream cheese on the counter when the bread was finished baking, to add a little bite, a little extra richness to the treat. But once wheat was put on my list of things to be avoided, I would glance longingly at those fruits on the counter as they started to show brown spots.

No more, though!  I can have my cake, and eat it, too. 

Welllll… technically, no. I can have my banana bread, though, and make it lower in carbs at the same time I make it wheat-free. This makes it slightly more virtuous a feast, until I slather that cream cheese all over it and treat it as if it were cupcake frosting.

Granted, it's a fairly heavy version of banana bread – Pop likes his to be a little more on the lightly cakey side, whereas this comes out dense, like a pound cake. Still, it's banana-y, nutty, and moist. What's not to like? 

Rich, nutty, fruity, and good for you…like a bran muffin, only without the whole bran muffin attitude 

 


Banana Bread with Coconut Flour

Ingredients:

7 large eggs at room temperature
3 Tablespoons honey
1/2 cup coconut oil or butter, melted
1 cup mashed ripe bananas
1 cup sifted coconut flour
1/4 teaspoon salt
2 teaspoons baking powder
1/4 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 cup chopped pecans (optional)

Directions:

Preheat oven to 350° F.

Grease a standard glass loaf pan.

In a large bowl, and with Paddle attachment (not dough hook or whisk) combine eggs, honey, oil, and mashed bananas, beat until well blended.

In a separate bowl, sift together coconut flour, salt, baking powder and soda. Whisk in nuts, if you are including them. 

Gradually add the dry ingredients to the wet, in the mixer bowl. Mix until completely combined.

Pour into greased loaf pan, place on middle rack of oven. Bake 1 hour. 

Remove from oven, allow to cool 10 minutes in pan.  

Remove from pan,  allow to cool completely on rack.

This bread is better if allowed to stand overnight. Serve with cream cheese brought to room temperature to soften, for greater cake-like awesomeness.

Salmon Scramble, or, Eggs You Can Pretend Are Naughty

I like scrambled eggs for supper. It's near the top of my list of comfort foods. My weakness, over the years, had been the traditional pile-on-the-bacon-and-cheddar scramble, but I've needed to cut out aged cheeses, and Pop and The Bat are looking at reduced fat and reduced sodium, respectively, so we tried a change-up.

This is really very simple, too. All you need is eggs, salmon, butter (or if you're cutting down on the saturated fats, canola or olive oil. I like using a wee bit of butter in the grander supply of canola, so I get the flavor of the butter in what I cook, but that's just the kid in me whose fondest memories involve a farm or a farm community. I likes me buttah.)

Oh, yes. You'll definitely need a frying pan, and, if you're as lazy as I am, a blender of some sort, too, but the blender is entirely optional, if you like whipping the heck out of a few eggs with a whisk or a fork.

You'll also need about fifteen minutes. 

And an appetite.

That's not a lot to demand, is it?

And, if you want to adapt up or down, on this recipe, think in these terms: 4 ounces of fish per person, and 2 eggs per person, plus one extra "for the pot" for each third person (1 person – 2 eggs; 2 people – 4 eggs; 3 people – 7 eggs; 4 people – 9 eggs; and so on).

Fish, eggs, gluten-free buttered toast, and green beans from Pop's garden. Life is good.

Salmon Scramble

Ingredients:

12 ounces of fresh (or frozen, thawed) salmon, cut into 1/2-inch cubes

7 large eggs

2 Tablespoons melted butter (or 1/4 teaspoon butter melted into canola oil)

salt and pepper to taste

butter and/or oil for cooking

Directions: 

In a large sauté pan or frying pan on low heat, simmer salmon in a small amount of oil until the pieces turn opaque, turning once or twice with a spatula.

Scramble the heck out of your eggs until they are frothy, then mix in butter (or butter mixture), blend completely, and pour over the salmon in the pan. continue to cook over low heat  until the eggs are almost completely cooked – just a little runny. 

Remove from heat, stir a couple more times, and let stand in the pan for about a minute, to let the eggs completely set up.

Serve with your favorite toast and a colorful salad and/or vegetable side.

Almost done…just a little patience needed.

And be sure to set aside a little for your wee beasties, if you have them. Even if you have a cat like mine, who doesn't much care for fish. 

WAAAANT! 

She likes scrambled eggs a little too much, though.

Gluten-Free, Low-Carb Pizza Crust

I have a little trouble with some allergies and sensitivities. They're not always the usual ones people get, either (yes, I'm violently allergic to anything containing grape origins – including cream of tartar and many of those unidentified "natural sweeteners" and "natural flavors" you find in so many sweet/diet snack foods. I dare you to match that).

Nevertheless, one of the foods I've recently learned is a problem for me is wheat. I haven't been tested for celiac, or other such, because my insurance doesn't cover…well, anything, since I have none. But I have discovered that, when I skipped eating wheat for more than a few days, I failed to have my regular morning migraine the next day, my digestive problems lessened, and my breathing issues around the cats were not so severe. So, at least I can say that I've marked something in my life which I can change in order to make my life just a little less sucky. (Here is where I do a little happy dance.)

Needless to say, this has left me searching for recipes I can fix for everybody in the household, which will satisfy their old fogey taste buds without causing me undue discomfort. This is why I got excited when one of my social media connections brought to my attention a simple, no-flour pizza crust recipe.

It was touted as low-carb, as well, piling on the pepperoni and sausage, but I have a bad habit of tossing peppers, onions, olives, and the like onto my own, instead of lots of meat. Tonight, it was broccoli, olives, and onions, with grilled peppers and mushrooms added into the sauce. But, hey, it's a pizza crust, and you can top it any way you want. 

The one thing I can say about this crust is, it's a very tender thing, and will likely stick to (a) the pan, if it's not greased very well, and (b) to the spatula if it's not a good non-stick silicone one. That's because the crust is, essentially, a crustless savory cheesecake. And, in my humble opinion, it kicks hindquarters.

this is a double-recipe, cooked in a standard 13x18" jelly-roll pan

Gluten-Free, Low-Carb Pizza Crust

Ingredients:

1 package (8 oz) cream cheese (you can use the low-fat, but not the nonfat)

2 large eggs

1 teaspoon garlic powder

1/4 cup parmesan cheese

1/2 teaspoon freshly-ground pepper

Directions: 

Preheat oven to 350º F. 

Grease 12-inch circular pizza pan or 9x13-inch cookie sheet.

Have cream cheese brought to room temperature, either by letting stand for a half hour in advance, or by warming slightly to soften in microwave oven.

In a medium mixing bowl, combine cream cheese and egg until thoroughly smooth. Beat in garlic powder, parmesan, and pepper.  Use spatula to pour batter into pan. 

Bake on middle rack about 10-12 minutes, until beginning to turn golden-brown in spots (like a flour tortilla or lefse, depending upon your own cultural references). Remove from oven, allow to cool at least 12-15 minutes. 

Meanwhile, raise temperature of oven to 375º F.

Apply your favorite sauce, cheeses, and toppings, and bake again until cheese begins to bubble up and lightly brown. 

Allow to cool about 5 minutes before serving.

Also great served cold for breakfast.