Moms are peachy keen...so give them a peachy cake like this

Let them eat flowers and stuff

We observe Mother's Day in this house pretty much the same way we observe every other day of the year: enjoy each other's company. This year, though, we  also get to toss in a couple of birthdays (not actually today, but with schedules being what they are, we consolidated).

In light of said natal anniversaries, I got cracking and worked up a cake or two. When I plan cakes for a crowd, I usually try to make one of them gluten-free, just for the heck of it (all right. It's so that, when it works, I can enjoy what everybody else does, and without the unpleasant side effects. So sue me).

At any rate, this was no exception. The only change is that, in going GF, I don't yet have the flour mix right for a fluffy, non-bricklike layer cake not involving chocolate. For some reason, I have no trouble making my chocolate cakes delicate and flavorful, but vanilla or coconut...plenty of flavor, for a doorstop. I suppose I could invest in some big brand-name GF cake flour, but then I'd have to freeze it for those months when I'm not baking birthday cakes…so, no.

Still, the regular people's cake does quite nicely. And I have meds and time, to get over the damage of my misbehaving.

Meanwhile.

It begins with a cake.

Two thick layers of loveliness.

Don't worry. It gets straightened out, eventually.

Embraced by peaches. Again, two thick layers, of neato keen.

This was the gluten free base. It sagged. I suppose I could have used it as a bird bath. The regular cake stayed tall and tender…and then some.

And then there is the fluff. All over. But not store-bought, this is meringue with cha-cha.

Sticky, gooey, fluffy, lighter than a marshmallow simple Italian Meringue with some to spare.

Plus some homemade candied violets.

I recommend getting the help of a young'un or two to pick a large supply of violets, (including a whole mess of white violets, if they grow near you) and use extrafine sugar on them.

All tied together with coconut, in syrup form and toasted flakes.

Mmmmmmm…coconutty! Heh heh!

Here comes the coconutty cake recipe, and the peachy filling recipe. And the meringue frosting recipe. You can click through on the above link for how to make the candied flowers, which can be made as much as two weeks ahead, but DO NOT REFRIGERATE. The cold will cause condensation which will turn the candy sticky rather than crisp, and you will be left with limp, colorless masses of useless carbohydrates of no particular charm.

The cake and coconut, also, may be prepared a day or two in advance, and, in both cases, not chilled. 

The peach filling can be made as much as a day ahead, and kept in the fridge.

The meringue needs to be fresh on the day of serving the cake.

Cake Ingredients:

2 3/4 cups all-purpose flour

1 teaspoon baking powder

1/2 teaspoon salt

3/4 cup buttermilk (I used powdered, and mixed it with skim milk)

1/4 cup sour cream

1 cup (2 sticks) unsalted butter, room temperature

1 2/3 cups granulated sugar

4 large eggs, separated

1 cup sweetened cream of coconut (Coco Lopez or Coco Reàl will do nicely. Do NOT use light versions. That would be just silly, considering how decadent the cake already is.)

2 teaspoons vanilla extract

2-3 cups unsweetened coconut flakes

Cake Directions:

Preheat oven to 350ºF, with rack placed in the center.

Grease two DEEP 9-inch cake pans (at least 1 1/2 inch deep), line the bottoms with parchment, and coat parchment and sides of pans with butter and flour.

In a medium bowl, whisk together flour, baking powder and salt (if you are using buttermilk powder, mix it in here). 

In a small bowl, whisk milk (buttermilk, if you're using the straight stuff) and sour cream together .

In a large stand-mixer bowl, beat the butter until it is light and fluffy. With mixer still running on medium, gradually add in the sugar, and beat until creamy and fluffy (at least 5-7 minutes). Add in egg yolks one at a time, beating them in completely before adding the next. Then mix in coconut cream and vanilla.

Keeping mixer running on low, add in 1/4 of the dry ingredients, allow it to fully mix in, then add about 1/4 of the milk/sour cream mixture and be sure to allow it to fully mix in. Add another 1/4 of the dry, mix in, then the milk…repeat this process until the whole thing is completely combined.

In a separate bowl, beat egg whites until light and fluffy, forming firm, moist peaks. Gently fold this into the large bowl of batter. 

When it is all mixed together, divide batter between the two prepared cake pans. Place on middle rack of oven. Bake at least 45 minutes, or until a toothpick or tester inserted in the center comes out clean.

Remove from oven but LEAVE THE OVEN ON.  Allow to cool on a rack, in pans, for ten minutes, then remove from pans to continue to cool. When they are completely cool (daddy-oh!), you may wish to take a long serrated knife and trim to make it flat and even. For myself, I don't mind a little hummock to build upon. If you are not frosting this right away, cover loosely with plastic or put in cake box and set aside.

Meanwhile, in a jelly-roll pan (a sided cookie sheet), evenly spread coconut flakes. Place on center rack of oven. Bake 12-15 minutes, stirring once at about midpoint, until golden brown and toasty.

Remove from oven, cool. Set aside for end stages of decorating.

Filling Ingredients:

1/2 cup peach preserves

2 lbs. frozen peaches, thawed (or 3 lbs. fresh peaches, peeled and pitted) cut into 1/2 to 1 inch chunks

1/4 cup granulated sugar

1 Tablespoons fresh lemon juice, plus 1 teaspoon finely-grated lemon peel (optional)

Filling Directions:

In a small saucepan on low to medium heat, melt the peach preserves.

In large bowl, mix peaches, sugar, lemon juice and peel, add liquid peach preserves, stir to cover. Allow to stand. After a few minutes, drain away liquids. (If you are preparing ahead, allow the liquid to stay until just before you apply peaches to the layers of the cake.) If you want, you can use the liquid in a nice drink, with a little of your cream of coconut and some rum…get creative!

Meringue Frosting Ingredients:

1 1/4 cups granulated sugar, divided

1 1/2 Tablespoons corn syrup

3 Tablespoons water

5 large egg whites, room temperature

Meringue Frosting Directions:

In a saucepan, combine 1 cup plus 2 Tablespoons sugar, plus corn syrup and water. Using a brush dipped in water, brush down any granules of sugar which might have been clinging to the sides of the pan. Place candy thermometer in pan so that it does not touch the bottom of the pan. On medium to medium-high heat, WITHOUT STIRRING as it heats, bring to a boil and continue to heat until it comes to 238ºF, or soft ball stage (when you drop a small bit of the mixture into a glass of  cool water, it forms a ball as it sinks to the bottom. But use a thermometer. It's much more effective a gauge of whether the syrup is ready).

At the same time you are boiling  the syrup, in a VERY clean LARGE stand mixing bowl with no residue (oils and fatty substances will keep the egg whites from whipping up all fluffy. I have read that some bakers rinse out their bowls with vinegar & then dry with paper towels, before whipping their egg whites, just to be sure), begin to beat the egg whites on medium-high speed. As the egg whites begin to become more frothy, sprinkle in 2 Tablespoons sugar, while continuing to whip until they are at soft peak.. You may be finished with this process a little before the syrup is ready. That is not a problem. The other way around, however…no.  So, if the syrup is heating too quickly, lower the temp a little (very little).

When the eggs are ready and the syrup reaches temperature, set the mixer at medium to high speed and pour syrup in a thin stream into the egg whites. Don't scrape the pan – just let what wants to come out, come out. Scraping may cause crystals to form in the fluff, and you don't need that.

Keep whipping the fluff on medium to high until it cools down to lukewarm (about 7-10 minutes).

Assembly:

As soon as the meringue is cool enough to handle, you'll want to assemble the cake, before the frosting begins to set up.

Place your bottom layer of cake in the center of the plate (or, if you have one, a decorator's turntable covered with parchment) in the middle of a large jelly-roll pan. Spoon a layer of drained peaches onto the cake layer, covering it completely. Pile on a generous amount of meringue frosting, spread evenly. Top with next layer of cake, cover with peaches, completely cover that with meringue. Slather meringue on sides of cake as thickly as you like it, and don't worry about crumbs showing through – you'll be pressing small handfuls of toasted coconut all around those sides. Be aware, the coconutting process is, by its very nature, an untidy one, which is why I suggest not skipping the jelly-roll pan. It will catch the flakes which don't immediately stick to the frosting, rather than letting them fall on the placemat – or, worse, the carpet. Scoop those fallen flakes up from the cookie sheet and add 'em to the next spot. 

If you have candied flowers, use them on top (or, if you have lots of them, stick them also amid the coconut on the sides, too). If you have no flowers, you can coat the top of the cake with more coconut, or you can leave it looking all yummy and fluffy on its own.

Cover without refrigerating. Will keep for up to 2 days, but is best served within an hour of finishing.

Four moms happy, two of them also satisfied with this as a birthday cake.

Note: I made a double batch of peach filling and meringue, as well as extra toasted coconut because I like to use it in other things. I layered the frosting on the sides of both cakes – regular and GF – rather sparingly, because I knew this was going to be a sweet cake, and I didn't need to make that overpowering. Therefore, I had about a pint of fluff left over, which I carefully spooned into a pair of pretty half-pint jars and sent off with a birthday girl, so she can use it to make fluffernutter sandwiches (or fluffernutellas, as she hinted she might) on toast. This is always an option with spare fluff.

If, on the other hand, you're not a big fan of fluff, you can replace the frosting with simple sweetened whipped cream or whipped coconut milk. But then you need to refrigerate the cake once it's assembled, and our fridge refuses to accommodate all that. It says it has enough stuff in it already.

Any way you look at this, though, you should eat it right away. It's too good not to.

Stumped for Ideas for Another Birthday Cake? We're In for a Treet!

For the young'uns close to me, I usually bake two birthday cakes – one for the family dinner, and one to feed to the kids who come to the separate party. The family cake is designed to appeal to the adults. I don't take shortcuts for those.

buzzzzz

This spring's cake, for example, was a gluten-free bumblebee sponge cake slathered in a rich, dark, whipped bittersweet chocolate ganache and decorated with cheery strawberry cream cheese candies. Granted, the candies aren't exactly no-frills, but Asteroidae enjoyed making them, so they were a "must-use" item on the cake, as well. And they served very nicely to hold the candles.

have a piece!

But when it comes time to make the one for the boys' overnight party, they care less about the substance of the cake, and more about style. For this, I usually throw together a mix, or, in this case, two boxes of Aldi's house-brand chocolate cake mix. After that, it's all about the brown sugar meringue mushrooms, vanilla wafer cookie lichen, gummi worms, bugs, & slugs in a mass of cookie crumb dirt... & a double batch of frosting.... 

in the garden of eatin'

I did drag out my little can of green food coloring spray mist to give it that final, slightly mossy effect, and allowed my assistant (the birthday boy's older sister, Asteroidae) to strategically place a couple of candy slugs where they could be seen before cutting into the cake (look for the little green wormy thing near the bottom of the frame, above).

I didn't realize chocolate was a grain…

The center 2 layers of the cake had been hollowed out using my largest biscuit cutter to take out all but the 1 1/2 inches around the outside, and those cut-out pieces were used in two ways: first, I set aside 5 crescents of varying sizes, for the exterior – the "root" bumps; second, I had Asteroidae gently crumble the remainder of the cut-outs and mix it, in a very large bowl, into the Oreo crumbs. Into that, we stirred a mess of gummi worms, bugs, and slugs. Dirt, bugs, slugs, & worms...in a cake!

the cake spills its guts

And there was plenty of dirt and worms mixture left over to serve up outside the cake, as well, since I used an entire bag of cookies, plus a pound of gummi worms, plus more bugs & slugs. The yard-apes had a blast with it! 

Bugs? Bugs! IS THAT A SPIDER? AWESOME!

Sweet and Tangy Kale Quinoa Slaw

Ingredients:

Salad:
1/2 cup cooked quinoa*
3 cups finely shredded baby kale
1/4 of a medium head of cabbage, finely shredded (about 2-3 cups)
1/3 cup finely diced seedless cucumber
1 medium carrot, coarsely grated
4 medium-sized scallions (both white and green parts), minced
2 Tablespoons toasted sesame seeds
Fresh ground pepper to taste

Dressing:
1 teaspoon finely grated fresh ginger
Juice of 2 clementines (about 4 Tablespoons)
2 Tablespoons fresh lemon juice
1 Tablespoon rice vinegar
2 Tablespoons extra virgin olive oil

Directions:

Make a batch of quinoa in advance following instructions on its package. Allow plenty of time for it to cool.

Chop, shred, grate & mince all the remaining salad ingredients, then toss lightly in a large bowl, along with the cooled quinoa.

Been chopping? Nooo, been chopping…

In a small bowl, whisk dressing ingredients together.

Drizzle dressing on salad immediately before serving, or put dressing in a cruet and allow each person to drizzle over his or her individual portion of salad.

Salad and dressing may be prepared up to 2 days in advance and will stay fresh as long as they are separate in the refrigerator. Once they are combined, the mixture is best eaten immediately.

Makes approximately 8 half-cup servings.

*I often prepare far more quinoa than I will need for a meal, and freeze the leftovers so that I will have some left over for these times. If your freezer is overstocked, or you don't have leftover grain & you don't have a lot of time to allow your quinoa to cool, the above link will show you how to cool it to room temperature quickly, too.

Roly-Poly Fish Cakes

Eat them up, YUMMM!

I sometimes crave crab cakes. This can become a hardship, now, for two reasons: I'm land-locked, and I'm allergic.

The first part is not much of a problem, really, since even in flyover country, they can still deliver relatively fresh or frozen seafoods. The allergies, though, are another matter. Really. I can't have shellfish. Regular fish are not so bad, but the last time I had those allergy tests done, I got a severe warning from my allergist about dosing myself up with antihistamines and gorging on Captain Bill's mostly-crab-and-pepper delights. Apparently, that sort of thing is not good for a body. Who would 'a' thunk?

Add to that, recently I learned I have a little trouble with wheat in all its permutations. No more bread crumbs. No more panko-crusted, peppered flounder.  No more beer-battered catfish. Not even a crummy Filet-O-Fish sammich from Mickey D's. 

Not that I'm destroyed by the fact that my fish must now be served naked as the day it was caught (well, nakeder, actually, since it loses its scales and bones, et cetera), but sometimes seafood likes the company of a tender ground grain as it goes across the tongue…tenderer than cornmeal, that is. Naturally, this led me to see if I could make a wheat-free fish cake which could make me not pine so greatly for the fjords…no, wait, that was a Norwegian Blue parrot, wasn't it? I only pined for a patty.

And, so, I set about trying to make something which could pass muster as actually good for me…and, in the process, I managed to get my folks to eat something besides the usual steak-and-potatoes they've grown accustomed to feasting upon each night.

And the best part is, it's pretty darned simple and light. No frying, no gigantic mess…it takes about 15 minutes to prepare, and bakes in 20 to 25 minutes. While it bakes, you might even sit back and enjoy this classic song. And, maybe a fish dance.

A fishy requisittttttttttttte…

Roly-Poly Fish Cakes

Ingredients:

3/4 lb fresh or frozen (thawed) whitefish, cut into chunks (I, being an art fan, used Pollock)
1 3/4 cups crumbs of rice squares cereal
1/2 large red bell pepper, minced (about 1/4 to 1/3 cup)
4 scallions, chopped
2 Tablespoons sweet bread-and-butter jalapeño relish, optional*
2 large eggs plus the white of one more
1/3 cup lowfat mayonnaise

1 teaspoon Old Bay seasoning

1/2 teaspoon freshly ground pepper (I use white peppercorns)

Lemon wedges

Fresh baby arugula or other tender savory greens

Directions:

Preheat oven to 450º F.

Grease a nonstick 12-pocket muffin tin.

For the crumbs: in a food processor or blender, pulse 2 cups at a time of gluten-free rice squares cereal (Rice Chex will be fine. I buy a regional store brand, because I'm cheap), until you have at least 1 1/2 cups of coarse crumbs.

In a medium bowl, combine all ingredients thoroughly. Spoon into muffin tin pockets (I used an old-fashioned mechanical ice cream scoop. It's fast, efficient, and gives equal portions without your having to think too hard).

Bake 20-25 minutes, until the top is crispy and the centers are tender. 

Best served hot on a bed of lemon-spritzed arugula salad. Garnish with more lemon wedges , if you like.  These cakes also may be prepared in advance, refrigerated, and served as much as 2 days later (either reheated or served cold) with seafood sauce or tartar sauce.

Serves 6 (2 cakes per person).

*If you don't have sweet-and-hot pickled pepper relish handy, and still want that kick, you may wish to substitute 2 Tbs minced bread and butter pickles and about 1/2 teaspoon Tabasco sauce (or comparable hot sauce. I know the trendy thing right now is Sriracha. If you use this, use it judiciously, so as to not overwhelm the other flavors).

Whippy ganache

Cake is now offensive to nanny-staters.

Gluten-Free Chocolate Coconut Surprise Cake

It has a secret...

It's the birthday of the friend who built my bed frame. Well, it was really his birthday a couple of days ago, but we're having a Friday night supper party, and I got the honor of baking his cakes. 

That's right, I said "cakes." Plural. 

This is partly because he and his family deserve it, partly because there will likely be a fairly large gathering, and mostly because one or two of us who will be there are a little sensitive to wheat, so there will be two: one cake is the standard white all-purpose flour treat, and the other is a variation on it, using a blend of non-wheat flours. 

I usually stick to the safe and affordable Bob's Red Mill GF All-Purpose flour for most baked items (biscuits, crackers, bread rolls, etc.), but when it comes to cake, I like a little more…something something cakey. Bob's GF AP flour can be a little beany and a little grainy, and some people (okay, that would be just me) kind of want a slightly more traditional tongue finish to our cakes, even when they're those dense pound cakes or brownie cakes, such as this one. This is supposed to be almost gooey in the middle and a little crispy in the crust, like a brownie wrapped around a macaroon. It called for a slightly different blend.

So, having just received a fresh batch of fine (pastry quality) sweet rice flour, I decided to add it to the mix. I'll be trying to make a batch of these, in a week or so, filled with lemon curd in anticipation of Pop's natal anniversary, but there's nothing in the rules of our kitchen to say I can't play with the stuff in other ways, ahead of that occasion.

At any rate, the cakes are baked and chilling. I'm also planning to make a dangerous ganache to send it over the top…we'll see how that goes. Not that this cake needs anything to cover it up. It's just that a tub or two of that rich chocolate goodness usually gets itself into the hands our resident designer/builder as a standard for this occasion, and I'd hate to give him an unpleasant surprise.

Meanwhile…chocolatey, coconutty, cakey cakeness:

Yummmmm

Gluten-free Chocolate Coconut Surprise Cake

Ingredients:

Coconut filling:
2 cups unsweetened coconut, finely shredded
1/2 cup sweetened condensed milk
1 large egg white, lightly beaten

Chocolate cake:
3 1/2 ounces fine extra-dark or bittersweet chocolate, chopped, melted and allowed to cool

1 1/2 cups of your favorite gluten-free all-purpose flour 

1/2 cup fine-ground sweet rice flour (also called sticky rice flour)
1 teaspoon xanthan gum
1/2 cup cocoa powder
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
2 teaspoons baking powder
scant 1/2 teaspoon baking soda
scant 1/2 teaspoon salt
6 ounces (1 1/2 sticks) unsalted butter, softened
1 cup plus 2 Tablespoons granulated sugar
3 large eggs
2 1/4 teaspoons  vanilla extract
1 1/2 cups plain Greek yogurt

Directions:

Coconut filling:

In a small bowl, thoroughly combine the coconut, condensed milk, and egg white.

On a sheet of plastic wrap, lay out mixture, roll tightly to form a rope approximately 18 inches long, place in refrigerator to chill at least a half hour.

Chocolate cake: 

Preheat oven to 325º F.*

Heavily grease bundt or tube pan and dust with corn starch or cocoa powder (I like cocoa powder, because it leaves no white residue on the cake when baked).

Chop the chocolate into 1/4 inch bits and place in a microwave-safe bowl. Place in microwave oven and cook on high 30 seconds. Stir. Place back in microwave oven and cook on high another 30 seconds. Stir. If still not melted, cook some more, in increments of 15 seconds, stirring and allowing to 30 seconds. When almost fully melted, stir until smooth, then let stand to cool back down to room temperature.

In a small mixing bowl, sift together the flours, xanthan gum, cocoa powder, baking powder, baking soda, and salt.

In the large bowl of a stand mixer, beat butter with the standard beater paddle, until it is fluffy. Add sugar, beat on high until creamy and light. Add the eggs, one at a time, beating on high after each one until it is fully mixed before adding the next egg. When this is light and fluffy, add the vanilla, and, while the mixer still runs, pour in the melted chocolate, in a thin stream. Mix until batter is smooth and even.

Add in 1/3 of the dry ingredient combination, mixing well, then adding in 1/3 of the yogurt, again mixing well. Repeat with the next 1/3 dry mix, then yogurt, and then again to complete the process.

When everything is combined, it will make a very thick batter – almost a soft dough, resembling the batter of most good brownies. With a rubber spatula, scoop it out into the pan and with moistened spatula or fingers, create a central channel.

coco channel

Take the coconut rope out of the refrigerator, unwrap it and press it as deeply as you can into the top of the chocolate cake batter.

Ringdingdingding...

This is easier said than done, as the rope is fragile. Gently roll it out of the plastic wrap into the indentation. Smooth the chocolate batter around the coconut to make it level. You don't need to cover up the coconut. The chocolate will rise around it a tiny bit, but also, when it bakes up, the toasted coconut is less likely to stick to the parchment or cake plate than the chocolate is, and its flavor is awesome!)

Bake approximately 70 minutes, or until cake tester (or toothpick) inserted into the center of the cake comes out clean.

Allow to cool in pan on rack at least 1/2 hour. If necessary, loosen cake from pan with very thin, flexible blade. Place disc of parchment over top of cake, then cover that with cake platter. Carefully invert and remove pan from cake. Cover cake in ganache or chocolate glaze.

They won't see the coconut until you slice the cake (yes, that's the surprise. I know, it's not that big a surprise, but, hey, we get our little thrills where we can) and serve with ice cream or stout ale – or both.

*If you use regular, non-gluten-free all-purpose flour, you'll want to omit the xanthan gum,  set the oven to 350º F., and bake for only 60 minutes, or until the toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean.

It's a cake!

Simple Cocoa Glaze (fat free! vegan! gluten-free! hard-core sugar-and-cocoa rush!)

I like a good frosting usually, but there are times when a glaze is called for. This one has no fat, is gluten-free, lactose free, vegan, soy-free…basically, the only sin is in the sugar, and, well, who cares about that on a sunny spring morn? Just go ahead and throw this together for a simple way to finish a denser cake, or to top a bowl of ice cream…or even to pour into a glass of seltzer water.

Simple Cocoa Glaze

Ingredients:

1/2 cup granulated sugar
1/4 cup water
1 Tablespoon unsweetened cocoa powder
1/2 teaspoon pure vanilla extract

Directions:

In a 1-quart saucepan (or larger), combine sugar and water. Bring to a full rolling boil over medium-high heat, stirring to dissolve sugar.  Remove from heat, whisk in cocoa and vanilla. Allow to cool a few minutes, until it begins to film over. (It should have the color and consistency of something you drain from the oil pan of a recently-run – but not hot – 1972 Ford Maverick owned by a teen-aged girl, but will absolutely not smell or taste like it. Please wait to lick the pan, until you've finished glazing your cake.)

This will pan out

Brush a thin layer over cake, allow to dry slightly. Repeat at least 2 more times, each time allowing the glaze to dry a little before applying the next coat. When all the glaze is applied, refrigerate the cake until chilled and glaze begins to crackle.

This is delightful on denser chocolate cakes, such as pound cakes and brownie cakes. Covers one bundt cake with four to five layers and a few drips; the standard tube cake will only receive three coats, unless you want to be naughty and make a double batch. Which describes me to a tee.

Just waiting to crackle

Mini-Margarita Cheesecakey Bites

Yesterday was haircut day. In this neighborhood, the genius who does the work on The Bat's and my challenging mops gets not only cash and hugs, but something a little decadent from the kitchen. Sometimes it's chocolate, sometimes it's liquor...this time, it's tequila (cue the Peewee Herman dance, and tell 'em Large Marge sent you).

Not only is it tequila, it's cheesecakes. Bite-sized. No-bake. So none of the liquor bakes out. And you can easily lose track of how much you've had.

That's not a bug, it's a feature.

Another feature is, it's really a quick-and-easy process. Once I assembled the ingredients, and the cream cheese was allowed to soften to room temperature, the whole thing took only 20 minutes for me to prepare. It makes at least 7 dozen (if you have that many good, bowl-shaped tortilla scoops. Otherwise, it makes as many as you can get, plus a small bowl full of tasty, tangy dip).

There's another plus to this: the alcohol is totally optional (unless it's going to the salon)!

It's great for parties, either way, so if you have a Spring Break event, or you're thinking all the way ahead to Cinco de Mayo or graduation day, or somebody's wedding, you can make a gazillion of these in short order, either teetotalling or liquored up, and people will go bonkers.

How to drink your Margaritas without looking like you're drinking…

Mini-Margarita Cheesecakey Bites

Ingredients:

1 (10 ounce) bag tortilla "scoops" bowl-shaped chips

1 (8 ounce) packet cream cheese
1 (14 ounce) can sweetened condensed milk
1/4 cup tequila (optional)
1/8 cup orange liqueur (optional)
1 (6 ounce) can* frozen limeade concentrate - DO NOT THAW!

Directions: 

Make sure you have room in your refrigerator.  

Set up trays of tortilla chip bowls: (I used three 12-inch pizza pans with low rims to hold them in place as I worked). Select at least 80 chips from bag, based on their shape - good, unbroken, with high sides and slightly flattened bottoms so they will hold the filling and still stand alone on a plate.

In the bowl of a stand mixer, beat cream cheese until it is fluffy. Add in condensed milk, beat until smooth, then mix in tequila, orange liqueur, and frozen limeade concentrate. Mix well.

Using a 2-teaspoon-sized cookie scoop like this one, or a piping bag with no special tip, fill each tortilla scoop with the batter. When each tray is completed, cover lightly with plastic and put it in the refrigerator. Allow to chill at least two hours, until mostly firm (they do not freeze very well, I'm sorry to say).

Serve topped with whipped cream. You may choose to go the lazy way & get pre-fab stuff, like the canned whipped cream, or the frozen non-dairy whipped topping, or you can, a few minutes before you're ready to serve, make some lime-whipped cream:

Special whipped cream topping:

1 pint whipping cream

2 teaspoons lime juice

1 Tablespoon ultrafine granulated sugar*

In a chilled bowl, beat whipping cream and lime juice on high until soft peaks begin to form. Sprinkle sugar into cream, continuing to beat until light and fluffy and stiff peaks begin to form - but be careful! You want to stop before it turns to butter! 

Allow your guests to apply their whipped cream on their own – from the can or with a teaspoon – then just sit back and enjoy the accolades.

*I ended up buying a 12-ounce can of limeade concentrate (that's all they had at Aldi), used half the can in the cheesecake filling, then allowed the remaining concentrate to thaw, substituted 2 Tablespoons of that for the lime juice and sugar, and made a quart of limeade, as well, to carry with me as a drink mixer for the afternoon/evening crowd.

Low-Sin, High-Pleasure Pizza: gluten-free, low sodium, and still tasty

Pizza. Philly cheese steak. Food of the gods.

My folks went away for a month, leaving me to clean out the deep freeze unit to the best of my abilities. Due to my having been hit with a little upper respiratory bug, though, the only thing I really made a dent in was the stock of stock -- chicken stock, that is. I have, for now, had my fill of chicken soup and its many variations on a theme. I arrived at that point long before I had recovered my energy and ability to cook again.

The trouble with reaching curative foods saturation point before you can get back to playing in the kitchen, and craving variety you don't have the strength to cook for yourself, is that you start thinking about establishments which deliver prepared foods to your home. In this town, the only foods available for delivery are pizza, pizza, and...no, that's it. Two pizza places. Everything else you have to fetch for yourself.

What with my suddenly having to cut out wheat and aged cheeses, that's really not a great set of options. But it's a great way to develop a little obsession -- an undying craving. I needed pizza.

At last, my energy mostly returned, as did my accountant/personal shopper (the Bat). Also arriving, my mail-order shipment of Bob's Red Mill Gluten-Free Biscuit AND Baking Mix.

Note: I like Bob's Red Mill products. They're versatile, as well as relatively affordable (as gf products go, they're almost dirt cheap!), and they taste quite nice, with a balance of flours so you don't suffer from too sweet or too beany an aftertaste, as many other brands I've tried in the past year. [If you prefer another brand of biscuit mix, though, go for it, and follow the package instructions for a single batch of basic rolled biscuit dough.] 

So anyway, I had my biscuit mix, and now I had other ingredients and a mommy to help me out in case of crisis, so it was PIZZA TIME!

I chose to combine a couple of cravings, too, to kill two birds with one stone, as the saying goes. I went for the Philly Cheese-Steak toppings, to the best of my abilities.

Fair warning: this is not a throw-together-at-the-last-minute pizza. You need time for the meat to arrive at a workable state, even if you have a deli slicer. It helps if you get a nice lean roast of beef, cut it with the grain into 1 or 1 1/2 inch wide strips, then freeze the strips for an hour or two, until they are frozen firm, but not rock-hard. If they get too hard, you'll only have to allow them to start to thaw before applying a blade to them.

But I'm getting ahead of myself. This is how to make a gluten-free cheese-steak pizza.

Half of this one was without onions, for the sake of the digestion of somebody I love.

Gluten-Free Biscuit-Crust Philly Cheese Steak Pizza

Ingredients:

Toppings:

2 lbs lean beef roast, cut with the grain into 1- to 2-inch thick strips, semi-frozen, and then sliced very thinly
5 Tablespoons butter, divided

12 ounces fresh mushrooms, stems removed, sliced thinly.
1 cup sweet onion, sliced as you prefer - rings or simple splinter-style
1/2 cup sweet bell pepper (optional), sliced

2 cups shredded mozzarella cheese
1 (4-6 ounce) ball fresh mozzarella*, sliced thinly into circles

Crust:

2 1/2 cups Bob's Red Mill GF Biscuit & Baking Mix, chilled
1/2 cup butter, chilled
3/4 cup cold water
Gluten-free flour of your choice for rolling out (about 1/3 cup)
Corn meal for pizza pan (about 1 Tablespoon)

Directions:

Starting well-ahead of when you need your pizza, firm up your beef in the freezer. When it is quite stiff but not yet frozen solid (it will take a couple of hours, depending upon your freezer), take out a section at a time and shave it as thinly as you can, across the grain of the muscle (cutting with the grain will leave you with too chewy a strip when cooked. You want it to fall apart so you don't have to struggle to get it into your mouth). If you are not going to cook the pizza right away, toss the meat back in the freezer before it thaws, so the slices don't stick together. If you are going to make the pizza now, set the meat aside in the fridge until you have made the biscuit crust.

Preheat oven to 375° F.

In a medium bowl, with a pastry blender, combine biscuit mix and 1/2 cup chilled butter until the mixture has the consistency of coarse cornmeal. Add water, mix in by hand -- start with a wooden spoon, but finish literally with clean, bare hands, until it begins to hold together. While it is still in the bowl, lightly knead it into a ball.

Place out on flat, lightly-floured work surface and roll to 1/4 inch thickness.

Sprinkle 14-inch round pizza pan or flat cookie sheet with cornmeal. Gently place biscuit dough on top (I use the rolling pin to transfer it from the counter top to the pan, the same way I transfer pie crust to the dish). If you wish, crimp edges a little, to give crust a rim. With a fork, pierce the dough at intervals of about one inch, across the entire sheet of dough.

Bake at 375° F for about 8 minutes. Remove from oven and set aside.

Reset oven to 425° F.

In a large frying pan or wok at high heat, place a Tablespoon of butter. As soon as it is melted, toss in sliced mushrooms and stir regularly to flash fry. When the mushrooms begin to turn golden-brown and slightly crisped, remove from pan and set aside. Add butter to the pan, flash-fry sliced onions until the edges begin to brown. Remove from pan and set aside. Add another small amount of butter to the hot pan, lay in beef -- only enough at a time for a single layer to cover the bottom of the pan (a handful should do just fine). Cooking quickly, lightly brown each handful and then set aside, continuing to cook the next handful of meat.

When all the meat is cooked, generously spread butter over the top of the biscuit crust, including the edges. Sprinkle all 2 cups of shredded mozzarella over the top of that. Pile on the meat on top of that, then the onions, mushrooms, and raw sweet peppers (optional). Arrange sliced cheese over top.

Bake about 13-15 minutes, until top cheese is melted. Turn off oven and allow pizza to stand in cooling oven about 5 minutes.

Slice and serve hot. Makes 8 servings.

*you may choose to substitute cheddar, provolone, or Cheez Wiz for authenticity, both in the base layer of cheese and the topping, all or part, in your own choice of proportions. I use fresh mozzarella because I have an allergy/intolerance problem with aged cheeses, and because I think fresh mozzarella is just awesome on this. 

Muffin Doin': cornmeal muffins

My young friend Asteroidae has, for the past couple weeks, been asking to make some muffins. (I guess I shouldn't have left the bright red silicone muffin pan on the table all this time, after using it to sort items for a Christmas project. It's too big a reminder.) Too often, when she arrives here after school, there is not quite enough time to do a serious project after she finishes with her homework, so her disappointment had been building. Finally, this time, we managed to work a little muffin up in the schedule…

At any rate, our households also have a serious weakness for cornbread, cornmeal, polenta, and the occasional bowl of grits, so we combined the two cravings into one solution. Today, we make cornbread muffins. And we make them blue.

If you don't have any blue cornmeal in your refrigerator (and, seriously, if you have it, it should be chilled unless you just bought it this afternoon), any other good quality cornmeal or non-quick-polenta will do, but the blue cornmeal lends its own subtle flavor to the bread. (If you are serious about making this gluten-free, though, remember to check the labels of your ingredients, first, to see that they are clearly marked as GF. Many corn flours and cornmeals are processed alongside wheat and other gluten sources, and cross-contamination may occur. I find Bob's Red Mill is always reliable.)

Also, a good gelatin-free, plain Greek yogurt is best, so check the ingredients in your preferred brand. I like the house brand from Aldi, but you may prefer somebody else's best (if you have none at all, skip it and raise the amount of buttermilk to 2 cups).

These muffins freeze fairly well, and can be stored in an aritight container for about two days – reheat to serve.

Beyond that, the real goal is to have a good time making muffins from maize.

Cornmeal Muffins* †

Ingredients:

2 cups corn flour (masa harina)
1 1/2 cups corn meal (preferably blue)
4 Tablespoons sugar or honey
5 Tablespoons baking powder
1 1/2 teaspoons salt
5-8 Tablespoons butter for pan(s)
4 large eggs, beaten
1 1/2 cups buttermilk
2/3 cups Greek yogurt, plain
1/2 cup melted butter

Directions:

Arrange racks in oven to accommodate two standard-sized 12-muffin tins, with as little overlap as possible. Preheat oven to 400º F.

In a large bowl, mix dry ingredients together, set aside.

Put a dot of butter (about 1/4 - 1/2 teaspoon) into each cup of the muffin tins. Place in oven to melt butter and heat the tins. When the butter is melted, swirl it around so it covers the bottoms of the cups.

In a medium bowl, mix eggs, buttermilk, yogurt and 1/2 cup melted butter. Add into dry mixture all at once and stir until moistened (do NOT overmix – it should still be a little lumpy).

Scoop by 1/4 cup into the muffin tins, bake 11-15 minutes, or until toothpick inserted in center of muffin comes out clean.

Makes 2 dozen.



*You can make this into a standard corn cake in two cast-iron frying pans, other heavy-duty round pans, or a 12x16x2 cake pan, by reducing the amount of butter to be put into the pan by about half (about 2-3 Tablespoons per round pan, or about 4-5 per rectangle), and then by baking for 15-22 minutes.

†Update: If, for the sake of portion control, you want to make mini-muffins (as pictured below, using regular cornmeal – I made these much later, under the watchful eye of Asteroidae's younger brother, Ilex), this recipe will make about 4 dozen. Treat the same as regular muffins, but bake only 8 minutes, or until lightly golden-browned. Serve warm – with more butter, if you feel like living the decadent life.

They just look so darned cheerful, all in a row, don't they?

We like our cornbread accompanied by butter and a bowl of soup or chili.