Frozen Custard "Ice Cream" To Warm Your Bones

I like making ice cream.  I admit it.  In fact, I like making it almost as much as I like eating it. Of course, I'm not big on sharing, either, which could very well explain much of what you see, if you meet me. Any way you look at it, though, ice cream is one of my favorite things in modern life, and homemade always beats others.

These days, I live far enough away from a source of pasteurized eggs, though, that I've had to resort to making frozen custard, instead. (In case you're wondering if that's a non-sequitur, it isn't. The best real ice cream recipe I ever came across has raw eggs in the finished product.)

So, not wanting to risk salmonella or worse, I found a few different frozen custard recipes, and tried them all out. Some are more complex and sophisticated than others, of course. After experimenting with about a dozen of the likeliest, I finally settled on one as being simple enough to prepare with the help of younger kids, and tasty enough that you don't notice the shortcuts too much.

When you make it with kids, though, you have to leave out one of my favorite parts – the bone-warmer.  I like adding a spot of liquor to the mixture, partly for the flavor, partly for the softening effect on the dessert (alcohol lowers the freezing point, so you end up with soft-serve, if you add enough). If you don't have any good liquor on hand, though, all you need to do is take the container of ice cream out of the freezer about 10-15 minutes before serving, to allow it softening time.

Frozen Custard

Ingredients:

1 1/2 cups whipping cream
6 egg yolks
1 14-ounce can sweetened condensed milk
1/2 cup unsweetened cherry juice
up to 1/2 cup bourbon (optional)

Directions:

1.  Pour cream into the top of a double boiler over medium heat, stirring occasionally.

2.  In a small bowl, whisk egg yolks until well- scrambled.

3.  When cream comes to a simmer (do NOT allow to boil), add into egg yolks VERY SLOWLY while constantly whisking. You don't want to dump too much hot cream into the egg too quickly, or it will cook & curdle the eggs.

4.  Once the eggs and cream have been thoroughly mixed, return them to the double boiler.  Stir constantly with whisk or wooden spoon, until the custard becomes noticeably thickened. Remove from heat, pour through sieve into a medium-sized bowl, and allow to cool a few minutes.

5.  Add the sweetened, condensed milk and cherry juice. Mix well.

6.  Refrigerate at least 4 hours (overnight is good).

7.  Follow your ice cream freezer's instructions on how to freeze this mixture properly.  If you wish to add alcohol to the custard, wait until the freezing process is nearly finished, and mix it in completely.  To simply keep the custard from becoming too hard to scoop, add only a tablespoon or two.  To make it strictly adult, add no more than a half-cup, as any more than that will keep it completely liquid.  A half-cup of any standard liquor will make your ice cream soft-serve, as it is.

8.  Put in separate, covered container in refrigerator freezer or deep freeze.

Variations:

Instead of cherry juice, try key lime juice, or strained orange juice, or another favorite unsweetened fruit juice.  In the final stages of freezing, you might also add some chopped fruit,  swirl in  a half-cup of your favorite fruit preserves, or, instead of using fruit juice, add some dark chocolate syrup and powdered malt,  then add swirls of fudge syrup in the final stage.

For liquored-up variations: 

My latest is to cover 1/3 cup dried tart (unsweetened) cherries in honey-infused whisky, and let chill overnight. Strain the cherries & mix the liquid with regular whisky to bring it to 1/3 cup for final stages, finally stirring the cherries into the mix right before going into the deepfreeze.

Daiquiri ice cream: switch out key lime juice for the cherry juice, and use rum instead of bourbon.

Mojito: key lime juice, then muddle some fresh mint into the rum before adding (or use a drop or two of mint essential oil).

Margarita: key lime juice, 3 tbs triple sec and fill the rest of 1/2 cup with tequila. Serve with a sprinkling of sea salt and a wedge of fresh lime or lemon. (fresh, strained orange juice may be substituted for triple sec).

Tequila Sunrise: Divide custard in halves after adding sweetened condensed milk. In one half, mix 1/4 cup pulp-free orange juice.  In other, mix 1/4 cup pomegranate juice or 1/4 cup grenadine. Chill.  Freeze separately, adding tequila (plus 1/4  cup halved - or coarsely chopped- maraschino cherries into the pomegranate/grenadine mixture, if you wish). Store either in one container, side-by-side or in separate containers, to mix upon serving.

Go ahead.  Play a little.

Giant Ice Cream Sandwich

I'm assembling a birthday cake, again, today.   Instead of the light and fluffy cake, though, I'm going for decadent chocolate upon chocolate with ice cream swirled with chocolate.... for the start of it all, I dug out the recipe again for the Brownies that Justify Government-Paid Prices, doubled it, and baked it all up in a greased, dusted-with-cocoa-powder large roasting pan (14x20x2").

Meanwhile, I pulled out a half-gallon of good vanilla ice cream, let it soften up a little, and scooped out balls of it to fill a 9x13x2" baking pan which I had lined with plastic wrap.  Over the balls of ice cream I drizzled slightly warmed fudge sauce and white chocolate sauce, put another sheet of plastic over the surface, and pressed it all down to compact it back into a large sheet of swirled, chilled dessert.  I popped it back into the deepfreeze to firm back up.  After the brownies cooled and the ice cream hardened up, the brownie came out of the pan in one big piece, to be cut in half and set upon a large board.  From there, you can, I hope, imagine the process of making an ice cream sandwich.  A layer of brownie, a layer of ice cream, and another layer of brownie, and the sandwich is assembled. Serve immediately.

Note: the ice cream should be quite firm, and the brownies MUST be completely cooled (refrigerate, if necessary, before assembly).  Otherwise, what you will get is two layers of soggy brownies in a pool of milkshake.


Serve with more fudge sauce, real whipped cream, plus your favorite fresh berries (we are offering up a variety: raspberries, strawberries, blueberries, and also, for the heck of it, dried Montmorency cherries).

And, a chocolate pavlova

 This part of my birthday "cake" was offered with a pile of chocolate fudge syrup, whipped cream, and a variety of fruits, as well.  The recipe makes a slightly denser, chocolatey meringue than many are used to eating, but still kicks hindquarters.  

Chocolate meringue for pavlova

Ingredients:

4 large egg whites, at room temperature

1/4 c. dark-brown sugar

2/3 c. Splenda sugar substitute or 3/4 c. castor (extra fine) sugar

pinch salt

1/2 tsp. pure vanilla extract

2 1/2 Tbs. good Dutch-process cocoa powder

Toppings:

Your favorite fudge sauce, whipped cream, fresh fruits such as strawberries, peaches, kiwi, etc.

Directions:

Preheat oven to 300º F.  Line a cookie sheet with parchment.  On the back side of parchment, draw 8-inch circle, turn parchment over so ink (or pencil) side is down.  

In a double-boiler or mixer bowl set over pan of simmering water, mix egg whites, sugar, Splenda (or fine sugar), and salt.  Whisk constantly until sugars have dissolved and mixture is warm (about 3 minutes).  Remove from heat, and with mixer, whisk until stiff peaks form.  Mix in vanilla.

Sift cocoa powder over top of meringue, fold in gently until streaks are almost all gone. Spread meringue onto parchment into a round, with circle as guide (it will spread slightly past that as it cooks), building a slight well into the center. 

Bake until dry to the touch, about 65 minutes.  Allow to cool in oven or on wire rack.  Serve THAT DAY.  This meringue's crust will stay crisp for only 6 to 8 hours, depending on humidity of kitchen.

Un-birthday un-cake: Pavlovas

This year, my birthday came and went the way I like for it to do: quietly, peacefully, and without most people making note of it.  Family were far away, and I was not answering my phone, due to a combination of allergies and a nasty tooth problem having only recently been surgically resolved.  I liked just kicking back & playing with my online pals, while watching Mark Harmon on my little hdtv.

However, once my parents had returned from their trip, there was a sense that we needed to observe both my birthday and the Bat's, inviting our local extended non-blood family to dinner and dessert.  We went all picnic-y and grilled some chicken, served up potato salad, and somebody brought corn on the cob... for all that it wasn't local, & seemed out-of-season, that was really very good.

Anyway, when it came time for dessert, those who know our family were prepared for the fact that we generally don't have cakes, for ourselves.  I make lots of them for other people, but we here are pie folk.  And, while I didn't feel like rolling out crusts, I also wasn't in the mood for "store-boughten" pie dough, either.  In fact, I'd read about a thing called a Pavlova, and thought I'd give it a try.

Now, a Pavlova has a somewhat clouded history -- both Australia and New Zealand lay claim to having served the first, in honor of prima ballerina Anna Pavlova's tour of the lands down under.  It was supposed to be light as a feather, just as her dancing was.

Regardless of whose land gave birth to the treat, a meringue is an awesome way to elevate a bowl of fruit...  The Bat and I had readied sliced strawberries for everybody but me (allergies), and some Kiwi fruit, some lemon curd, fudge sauce, white chocolate sauce, whipped cream (the real stuff), and some good company, any one of which is fine, but assemble them all, and you have a mess of happy trouble.

And I had made three pavlovas, as experiment.

One thing I learned: I like Splenda (or a reasonable facsimile thereof) in my kitchen.

When you're making meringues of any sort, the trickiest part is really to get the sugars to dissolve smoothly in the egg white.  Many recipes call for the use of castor sugar, or, in plain parlance, superfine granulated sugar.  If you don't have easy access to that, because you live out in the boonies, a half-day drive from a decent baking goods supplier, you can take your regular granulated sugar and put it through a food processor/blender for anywhere up to five minutes per cup, depending upon the capabilities of your machine.  

Don't do that unless you have to prepare your pavlovas more than eight hours in advance.  Skip the sugar and go for the sucralose/maltodextrin stuff (if you can find some with probiotic additives, so much the better).  It dissolves nicely and performs well in the end, as well.  You just have to go by volume, and not weight, when you measure. And, remember, the artificial stuff is slightly sweeter per spoonful than is natural sugar.

Anyway, here's my (slightly lopsided, but nobody complained) pavlova:

Simple pavlova

Ingredients: 
4 large egg whites, allowed to come to room temperature
1 c. minus 1 Tablespoon  sugar substitute (or 1 c. extra fine granulated sugar)
1/2 tsp good vanilla extract
1 tsp rice vinegar
1/2 Tbs corn starch

Topping:
Fresh fruit of your choice -- berries, kiwi fruit, peaches, pineapple, or whatever you like (or a nice citrus curd, for an inverted, "crustless" meringue pie)
Whipped cream, lightly sweetened and with vanilla added

Directions: 
Place rack in center of oven.  Preheat oven to 250º F.  Line baking sheet with parchment paper, draw a 7-inch circle on the reverse side of the parchment, then turn parchment back over so ink side is down.

In your clean, dry mixer's bowl (make sure there is no water, oil, or egg yolk in it), using the whisk attachment, beat egg whites on medium until they hold soft peaks.  Set mixer on high, then slowly add in sweetener (take your time, about a tablespoon at a time),  until the meringue forms stiff and shiny peaks.  Add vanilla extract.

Lightly sprinkle vinegar and corn starch over the top of the meringue, then gently fold in with clean rubber spatula. Do not over-mix at this point, or you will reduce the volume and create a rubbery meringue.  Scoop onto parchment on cookie sheet, using spatula to spread it to cover the circle, and making a slight raised edge (create a shallow well structure so it can hold your choice of toppings).

Place on rack in oven, bake 60 to 70 minutes, or, until outside of meringue is dry and beginning to turn a pale golden.  Turn off oven, open the oven door, and allow meringue to cool in place.

When using sugar, the meringue may be stored in a cool, dry, airtight container for a few days, but with the substitute sweetener, its crust has a tendency to soften and become sticky after about 10 hours.

Serve by piling on a great dollop or three of whipped cream, then sprinkling your favorite fruits or other toppings over the whole thing, then serve immediately, so the meringue's crust does not have time to become soggy.

Out of this world birthday cake

First, we have a seven-year-old boy.  Next, we have his nine-year-old sister who spends one afternoon per week as my art pupil.  Third, both children are practically my niece and nephew.  That's how important their family has been to me and my immediate family.

So, naturally, I beg for the opportunity to do the special cakes for their birthdays.  Last year, I built the circus tent cake, followed by the cheeseburger cake.  This year, the first cake was, again, chocolate cake, but with white fluffy whipped frosting and almond bark (aka white chocolate), plus a bazillion other ingredients.

You can see most of the bazillion, here.

The cake is a basic devil's food mix, with a little bit of buttermilk added for moisture and cohesion.  Since the whole thing was going to be fed to a mob of youngsters with undeveloped taste buds, I didn't worry about making a special frosting -- I bought a couple of tubs of whipped white, vanilla-flavored brand-name frosting.  I needed one and a half of them.

The cake was baked in two parts: a half-filled semi-cylinder loaf pan, and a basic tube pan (you could accomplish the same in a bundt pan, but ours needed a little love, so I went straight angel-food-tube pan.  Neither gets filled completely, unless you want to get wild and do a double-batch, in which case, you will have a leftover slab of your loaf cake.  As it was, I had a small section I didn't need for the sculpture, so I set it aside for a later, quiet family moment.

Anyway.  Once the cake was baked, cooled, and removed from the pans, I wrapped it and popped it in the freezer to make it easier to sculpt with.  In the meantime, my star pupil came over to help build the "alien robots" to decorate the cake.  This was done using both regular-sized and mini marshmallows, which were punctured by toothpicks (it helps to wet the toothpick, first), then stitched/pieced together to provide limbs, using Twizzlers® Pull-Aparts in both cherry and green apple (those would be the red and green strings).  Some of the faces were painted on, using a toothpick dipped in food coloring, while others were made sticking colored jimmies into the marshmallow. 

Note:  It's always helpful to have a child's imagination in building alien robots.  The birthday boy's sister has considerable talent, there.

The rocket ship was a little tricky.  Having a section of cake rise from the rest means building a support structure, or your cake will be nothing more than a straight layer.  I melted almond bark in a shallow dish, then dipped the butt end of a tall plastic container into it at an angle, to build a parabola (the container was approximately the same diameter as the loaf pan, so that the cake would rest easily inside it when the bark firmed up). When the belly of the rocket was firm enough to remove from its mold, I attached a pair of slim bamboo skewers to the base (using plenty more almond bark), sticking out from the flat back end.  These would be used to anchor the rocket to the rocky planet's surface.

Ah, yes, the rocky surface.  That would be (a) the coating of whipped frosting, followed by (b) a mass of Cracker Jack® popcorn (see pic below).  That's just the front end of the cake.  The back end is also frosted, but is piled with marshmallows (the larger ones were cut in half and stuck on, cut side into the frosting), to represent the cloud of smoke/steam of the rocket's exhaust from takeoff.

But, back to the rocket.  Once the almond bark was fully hardened for the base, and I was confident the skewers would hold the weight, I added wings: more almond bark, poured into a small square mold (actually, the indentation in the top of a plastic container's lid), then cut diagonally with a hot knife.  I attached them with more melted almond bark, placing the structure in the freezer to set up more quickly and firmly.

The round-bottomed loaf was long enough to make two rockets (just in case I was clumsy), so I cut it in half and trimmed away one to make a point, setting it in the almond bark undercarriage and coating it with frosting to make it appear one solid piece of food.  I finished it by adding silver jimmies along "seams", blue decorator sugar for the windshield, and large marshmallows for the jet engines on the back (each having been moistened at the end and lightly coated with red decorator sugar to indicate the engines were hot.  I inserted the skewers at an oblique angle, through the center of the base, then frosted the rest of the cake, then piled on the rocks, smoke, and aliens.

The candles I arranged as though the ones directly behind the jet engines had been blown over.  The advantage, here, is that they're all on the same side of the rocket, so a little boy doesn't have to dance around the cake in order to blow them all out.

Before anybody cut the cake, I helped pull the rocket off the top, and set it aside as the special piece exclusively for the birthday boy.  One of the aliens managed to stay clinging to it, so it will live to see another day.

I didn't need the second half of the loaf in order to make a rocket, so I used the remaining frosting and some jimmies to make a little side cake, just for the heck of it.

I had, actually, planned to tell him that the dog had eaten the big cake, and this was all I had left for him, but he saw the big cake box before I could hide it all away, so... gosh darn it, the joke was spoiled.  Still, he and his friends seemed to enjoy the out-of-this-world cake, piled high with soft ice cream.  I was glad to see he was not disappointed with his cake, this year.

And, since the party was a few days before his actual birthday, he gets his own birthday cake twice in one week.    We all should be so lucky!

I don't know what I'll do next year, though.

Fry Bread, for Indian Tacos or other nefarious purposes

Pop and the Bat have taken a couple of vacations to the Southwest, during which times, they have had occasion to sample some of the local chefs' versions of Navajo Fry Bread and Indian Tacos.  The Bat says that, if you ever get out to see the Grand Canyon, the place to stop is Cameron Trading Post... for more than just their awesome eats, but that's a great place to start.  Their fry bread is, to borrow a description from one of the kids in my neighborhood, "monster HUUUUUGE," and awesomely tasty.  

Having sampled this treat as a main dish and a dessert (I get to eat it when I hit the regional Powwows), I have developed a bit of a taste for it, myself, and decided to give it a go in our kitchen, too.    We had our usual Friday company for supper, last week, and served them a variation on that theme...

Now, when most of you fix tacos, you usually use ground meat, upon which you pour a mix of seasons and let it simmer for a few minutes before serving.  We aren't big fans of the flavor of most of those burger-laden varieties, especially when we have a perfectly good half a roast in the refrigerator, having been left over from the night before.   I shaved that up into very thin slices, cut again across the grain, so that I had strips approximately 3 millimeters thick by 1 centimeter wide by 15 centimeters long. I put together a chipotle spiced marinade mix,  the juice of one fresh lime, olive oil and water (proportions are based on the pre-fab marinade mix instructions, but slightly more water)all in a zipper storage bag, and added in the meat, tossing it into the refrigerator for about two hours.  While that steeped in its juices, I finely chopped tomatoes, onions, lettuce (we used romaine), and olives, putting each in its own covered dish in the refrigerator.   I made certain I had refried black beans topped with a sprinkling of shredded cheese (heat before serving), plus a guacamole "ketchup," homemade salsa, and some sour cream (greek-style yogurt with a little lime juice and honey makes a reasonable substitute), all waiting to go on the table. 

Then came time to prep the fry bread.  

Note:  Traditional Navajo fry bread uses powdered milk.  We didn't have any, because nobody much cares for it in our house.  On the other hand, we did have powdered buttermilk, making for an even more decadent version of the classic, while still keeping the calories lower (as if we were worried about this, in a fried food)... we recommend the buttermilk for its sweetness.  We also prefer to cook in lard, but, if you have issues with this, you may substitute Crisco or even cooking oil.  Just know, this will, necessarily, change the flavor.

Fry Bread

Ingredients:2 cups all-purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon table salt
1/4 cup powdered buttermilk
2 teaspoons baking powder
1 cup water
about 2 cups shortening (for frying)
extra flour (to keep the dough from sticking to your hands

Directions:Begin to preheat shortening in a deep fryer, large frying pan, or deep wok, aiming for about 350º F.  You need at least one inch depth to your shortening, so you will need to amend the measurement according to which pot or pan you use.

In a medium bowl, sift together dry ingredients.  Pour the water over the mixture all at once, mixing with whisk or fork until it begins to form one large mass.

Make sure your hands are clean, then flour them well.   Using your hands, gently work the dough in the bowl (do not knead, or the bread will become heavy), until it begins to form a slightly sticky ball.  

Divide the ball of dough into eight (8) equal pieces.  With floured hands, shape a piece of dough into a rough approximation of a six-inch diameter disk (don't worry if it's not exactly round.  This is a fun bread, not some uptight wheel of reason).  Poke a small hole in the center, gently place the flattened piece of dough into the hot oil (to avoid spattering).  

Fry until golden-brown (about 3 minutes or slightly more), then flip it to fry the other side.  The bread will be lumpy.  Do not worry about unevenness, as it's a feature, not a bug.  

Place the fry bread on a paper towel to absorb the excess shortening.  Serve hot.  If you have to set aside, place in 200º F oven for up to 1 hour before serving.

Further note: I am told you can save leftovers in the refrigerator overnight, and revitalize them in a 350º oven, 10 minutes or so.  I have never had enough left over to make this experiment possible.

When it comes time to serve the tacos, there is no folding the fry bread (unless you are overly ambitious).  Treat it as an open-faced sandwich, if you will. Pile on your favorite taco ingredients, slice it up with a knife and eat it with a fork.  Or, make a big mess and enjoy, anyway.

If, on the other hand, you don't want to do tacos, this makes a naughty dessert, as well.  You can dust it with powdered sugar or  cinnamon sugar, drizzle it with honey or fruit syrup/jelly/jam, or pile on your favorite berries/peaches/other tender fruits.  If you haven't tried it this way, but you've been to a county fair somewhere in the Midwest, think of this as a much tastier version of funnel cakes, and treat it as such.  Your tongue will love you, and your hips will resent every bite...

Sweet Bird of Pizza!

I've been playing around with my pizzas, lately, since I developed a little problem processing tomatoes & now rather dislike red pizza sauces.  The past few 'zas have been pesto-based, topped with crumbled ricotta & mozzarella, with mixtures of chicken and a few vegetables (onions, mushrooms, sweet peppers, whatever is in the crisper drawer).  Tonight, I went wild and left the pesto in the fridge.  Instead, I made a sweet-and-zesty version, using mascarpone cheese blended with honey and fresh ground ginger spread on a plain whole wheat thin crust, topped with sautéed chicken in honey-whisky-and smoky tabasco, with onions, peppers, and pineapple.  This time, I used quite a few preserved or previously-prepared ingredients, but I think next time I try this, I will use all fresh.  Except, I really like using Mama Mary's thin & crispy crusts (available at, of all places, the local Mart of Wals, for half the price of the other brands' crusts).

Anyway, if you want to try my pizza topping, here's the stuff:


Sweet Bird of Pizza!  
(or, if it weren't for the chicken, this could pass for dessert....)




Ingredients:


1 pre-cooked 12-inch pizza crust of your preferred variety
olive oil
4 oz.  mascarpone cheese
1 1/2 Tbs. fresh ground ginger
2 tsp. honey
8 oz. shredded mozzarella cheese
1 Tbs. butter
8 oz. sliced mushrooms
1 lb. white chicken meat, cut into 1/2-inch or smaller cubes*
1/4 cup (or slightly more) honey-infused whisky
a few shakes (to your taste) smoked tabasco sauce (I used about a dozen)
salt & pepper to taste
sliced or chopped: onions, fresh sweet peppers,  hot peppers (remove & discard the seeds)
finely-cut or shredded pineapple (fresh is better, but, if you use canned, be sure to drain it well)

Directions:

Preheat oven according to instructions for crust (usually, for a crispy crust, you'll need a fairly hot oven, around 425º F.).    Place crust on a cookie sheet or pizza pan, brush lightly with olive oil.

In a small bowl, mix mascarpone, ginger, and honey until completely blended.  Set aside.

Using a medium frying pan or wok at high temperature, stir-fry mushrooms in butter until some of the mushrooms develop a golden-brown, crisp edge.  Remove from heat, put in separate bowl.  Return the pan to heat,  add in chicken, salt & pepper, stir until most of the pink is gone from the meat.  Add in honey-whisky and tabasco, simmer, stirring, until liquid is cooked away and meat is lightly golden-brown.

Spread mascarpone mix on pizza crust, sprinkle lightly with mozzarella, then top with all other ingredients, distributed evenly and arranged to please your eye.

Bake on cookie sheet or pizza pan for 7-10 minutes (I do not recommend the extra-crispy method of baking right on the oven rack, because the mascarpone cheese will melt quickly and may run off the pizza onto the bottom of the oven).  When the mozzarella and onions have begun to lightly brown, remove from oven, allow to cool about 3-5 minutes before serving.




*I find the easiest way to prepare chicken for the purpose is to take a completely frozen chicken breast and allow it to thaw an hour or so at room temp -- or in the nuke for about a minute at full power -- just enough to make it less of a brick, but still frozen fairly solid.  Take out a good, heavy-duty knife and cut while still frozen.  Allow those wee chunks to thaw the rest of the way in the refrigerator, or stir-fry while still a little frozen.  If you're using a brined chicken breast, you'll want to drain the ensuing liquid from the pan before you add the whisky/tabasco.

Fudge Nut Layer Bar Cookies (with 30% less guilt than straight fudge)

What do you get when you fix straight fudge and eat the batch?  Besides guilt, probably some digestive disorders.  But this treat, which the Bat used to fix for our parties about once every six months or so, at least gives us the Bill Cosby breakfast option.

The recipe was, once, a Pillsbury Bake-off winner.  Naturally, when the recipes come up in their little cookbooks, they're written to feed a reasonable family of four or so.  Our family is neither four nor reasonable.  Plus, we have lots of friends who like it when we play in the kitchen, because we like to share (when we can).  So the original recipe fits into a 9"x9" baking pan, but the Bat's variation requires a greased 12"x17" (or thereabouts) jelly roll pan and a very level oven.

It also calls for walnuts, but we don't eat those, in this house, due to allergies.  If you like them, you can substitute them for the pecans.

The original recipe also requires a double-boiler and patience.  We have a nice microwave oven and patience be damned.  Waiting for these?... I don't think so.

Decadence… and nutrition

Fudge Nut Layer Bar Cookies

Ingredients:


for the fudge layer
2 cups (a 12-ounce bag) of your favorite semi-sweet chocolate chips
1 can (14 oz.) sweetened condensed milk
3 Tablespoons butter
1/2 teaspoon salt
2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract
1 cup coarsely chopped pecans

for the cookie layers
2 1/2 cups sifted all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
1 cup butter
2 cups firmly-packed brown sugar
2 eggs. unbeaten
2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract
3 cups quick-cooking rolled oats
1/2 cup coarsely  chopped pecans


Directions:


Preheat oven to 350º F.

In a microwave-safe bowl, warm chocolate chips and butter at high temperature until melted (about 2 minutes, depending upon your nuke).  Add sweetened condensed milk, salt, vanilla.  Stir until mixed.  If needed,  reheat slightly before stirring in chopped nuts.   Set aside.

In a medium bowl, sift together flour, soda, and salt.  Set aside.

In mixer bowl, cream butter, gradually mix in brown sugar.  Add eggs, vanilla.  Blend well.

Stir in dry flour mixture, then add rolled oats.

In greased (or really good non-stick) jelly roll pan, spread two thirds of the cookie dough to make bottom crust.  Cover with fudge mixture.  Drop (crumble) remaining cookie dough by teaspoonfuls over top of chocolate filling. Sprinkle with chopped nuts.

Bake 25 to 30 minutes, until lightly browned.  Cool.  Cut into bars.

Pasties, Bronze Turkeys, and old school spirit

Tonight, I fixed supper again for the old fogeys... mostly because I had nothing better to do, as well as that Mom is still nursing a bruised rib & pulled muscles around it, and that Pop is a health hazard as it applies to food prep.

So, of course, I decided to experiment.  I'm always up for the basic Upper Peninsula variation on Cornish Pasties, & have found a dozen or so recipes in the Bat's collection of regional church cookbooks and such (although, the recipes online always seem to use ground meats, and I'd never heretofore eaten anything but chuck steak chopped into 1/2 centimeter or so cubes, in any of the places I'd been up in the UP).  This past month, though, I'd been wondering if I could create my own, in honor of my alma mater and its long-held rivalry with the nearest neighbor college (not a link to their site... that might be considered disloyal to the Fighting Scots).

Considering that Monmouth's big annual fair is the Prime Beef Festival, and Warren County (of which Monmouth is the county seat) had, a century ago or so, proclaimed itself the Prime Beef Capital of the World, I opted initially for a straight-beef-no-meat-blend approach.  And, taking into consideration Knox College is in the heart of Galesburg, IL, the home of Carl Sandburg, and they have an annual celebration of the man, each year, in Rootabaga Days, the traditional blend of beef, taters, and "beggies" (or, as rutabagas are called in other parts of the world "Swedish turnips", or, more simply, "Swedes") seemed a natural way to go.

And, being as I'm notoriously lazy -- or, rather, I was visualizing somebody mass-producing these things to serve at the athletic events when Monmouth and Knox face off -- I was looking for a few short cuts.  Therefore, I accept that coarsely chopped meat might end up the best option.  I didn't follow that, for tonight's beefy handfuls, though.  I like my cubed beeves.

What it boiled down to was this:  I cheated on one thing.  I bought pie crusts from the refrigerator section of the supermarket.  I even used a house brand.  Don't stand (or sit) there with your mouth agape.  These things are too thick and unwieldy for making good pies, but they hold up quite nicely around a meat pocket.

So, other than that cheat, my beef pasties were pretty traditional.   I didn't make a whole mess of them, but, having two pie crusts in the box, I cut each in half and made four pasties.    And then I made another four -- a variation -- in honor of the trophy our two schools have battled over for, lo, these many years, even after the guy who later became a spy for the Soviets stole the trophy and hid it for more than a decade....  but that's another story.  Suffice to say, the Bronze Turkey inspired me, too.

I really would love to see somebody at the Monmouth College food service put some of these together during game days, at the concessions stand...

What you'd get is this:


Monmouth-Knox Pasties, or Beefy-Beggie pockets (with a Bronze Turkey optional substitution)

Ingredients:
1/2 cup (about 3/4 lb) chuck steak, diced (cut into cubes approx. 1 centimeter or less), or coarsely       ground (or chopped) turkey
1/2 cup diced peeled potatoes (about the same size as the meat cubes)
1/4 cup minced (finely chopped) peeled rutabaga
1/4 cup coarsely grated carrot
1/2 cup finely minced sweet onion, divided
1 tsp (or so) butter, cut into small bits
salt and pepper to taste
2 prepared pie crusts, cut in halves
2 Tablespoons milk
1 egg white, lightly beaten, with a little bit of water (less than a teaspoon)


Directions:
Preheat oven to 350º F.

Mix potatoes, rutabaga, carrot, and 1/3 cup onion in bowl.   Divide into 4 equal parts.

Unroll pie crusts (if they are stiff, pop them in microwave oven for about 10 seconds, until they are soft and pliable) onto cookie sheet. Cut in half.  Brush edges of crust with milk.

Spread 1/4 of vegetable mixture on one end of pie crust half, sprinkle 1/4 of the meat on top of that, top with a few small chunks of butter, salt and pepper.

Fold crust over, making a 90º-angled wedge (a quarter-pie), completely sealing edges (it doesn't have to be pretty, but it ought to be sturdy and leak-proof).  Make a small vent in top of crust.

Brush top of crust with egg mixture, sprinkle with remaining onion (one can substitute sesame seeds, poppy seeds, kosher salt, or leave top plain).  The egg white will make the crust a little more flaky.  If you want a firmer, crustier top, use whole egg, some water, and then sprinkle your choice of topping.

Bake 45 minutes or until top is rich golden brown (yes, bronze-ish). Remove from oven, allow to cool about 5-10 minutes.

Serve hot or cold, with gravy, catsup, mustard, or salsa.

What the egg lady left behind

Long years ago, when the milkman still drove through the neighborhood delivering dairy products, there was also an egg lady.  At least, there was in our neighborhood.  In fact, the egg lady continued to deliver eggs to us long after we fetched our milk from the supermarket.  Mrs. Bennett always gathered the freshest, largest, best eggs one could ever hope to have, and she delivered right to the side door of our house.

Better than the eggs, though, Mrs. Bennett left a handful of dangerously decadent dessert recipes with the Bat.  The aforeposted Illini Bars, for example, came from her recipe files.  And, now, more of her chocolate treats must be made known to the general populace.

Today, we have brownie drops, aka, "those awesome little chocolate cookies with the chocolate mini-chips and the frosting that's probably going to kill me..." (this is the double recipe she recommends).

Brownie Drops


Ingredients:
1 cup butter or oleo
3  1-oz. squares unsweetened chocolate
2 cups brown sugar
1 cup buttermilk
2 large eggs
2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract
3 1/4 cups flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon NaCl (salt)
1 12-oz bag of chocolate mini-chips



Directions:
Preheat oven to 350.

Melt the butter and unsweetened chocolate squares.

Add sugar, buttermilk, egg and vanilla.  Mix thoroughly.

Sift together dry ingredients.  Add to chocolate mixture.  Stir in chocolate chips.  Drop by tablespoons onto greased cookie sheet.  Bake 10-12 minutes.  While still warm, frost with chocolate glaze (recipe below).

Makes 10 dozen.


Chocolate glaze:


Melt 1 square of unsweetened chocolate  and 4 Tablespoons butter or oleo.  Blend in 2 cups powdered sugar, 2 Tablespoons hot water, and 1 teaspoon vanilla.